Playing Office & Life politics: Proper strategy means not winning every round.

Because of my experience as a political news reporter and work as an educational speaker/media intelligence trainer, I’m often asked about office politics and how to avoid it. Matter of fact, it’s become yet another mainstay in my speaking programs. 



The first question I invariably get is, “How do I win at office politics?” My answer is always the same. If you’re goal is to win every round, you’re in the hole right from the beginning. There’s a better chance that with an attitude of “winning at all costs”, you will sabotage yourself and, in the end, lose.

You just may lose big.

As we are coming to the end of yet another political season, let’s not take this from a partisan standpoint. We’re immersed in politics every day around us, and politics in the workplace and everyday life is nothing new and not surprising. First thing is to dispense with the concept this is all about political parties, and boil it down to the level of companies, corporations, and the people you interact with every day.

The word “politics” alone is enough to make most people roll their eyes and sigh deeply, as if they just heard that their favorite restaurant is out of fries for the day. “I don’t care about politics,” you might say, feeling confident that your life is blissfully untouched by the squabbles of Washington, D.C., or any government for that matter.

You’re wrong. You are neck-deep in politics every single day—even if you don’t notice it.

And I’m not talking about government politics. I’m talking about the real politics, the ones that happen in your personal and professional life, where every decision, every interaction, is steeped in the subtle (or not-so-subtle) machinations of everyday power struggles.

These are personal politics, where the stakes are higher than anything in a ballot booth, and the consequences could mean anything from losing your job, losing your dignity, or missing out on that last slice of pizza. Because nothing says "political maneuvering" like trying to keep your relationships intact while surviving a corporate meeting.

Office Politics Power Struggle and the “Game of Desks”.

You think you’re just going to work to do your job? Oh, bless your heart. If only it were that simple. Every time you walk into the office (or log onto Zoom, in our modern reality), you’ve entered a battlefield of alliances, secret deals, and a cutthroat competition for… the best desk near the window. Who gets the promotion? Who gets stuck covering for the co-worker who always calls in sick on Fridays? Who gets to control the thermostat?

Welcome to office politics, where your fate is determined not by your actual work, but by whether you can smile through your teeth at the coworker who always takes credit for your ideas. You know the one. They swoop in with the charisma of a used car salesman and suddenly everyone thinks they’re a genius. But don’t worry, there’s a solution. It’s called “networking,” which is just a fancy word for making sure the right people owe you favors. It’s like Washington D.C., except instead of lobbying for new laws, you’re trying to get Karen from HR to approve your PTO request before your vacation plans are ruined.

Family Politics: Thanksgiving’s Real Agenda

Then we have family. A warm, safe haven of unconditional love and support, right?

Wrong.

Family is where the most vicious political games are played, all under the guise of holiday cheer and group text threads. Take Thanksgiving dinner, for example. You think it’s about food and gratitude, but it’s actually a battleground for power, guilt trips, and passive-aggressive comments.

Who gets to host? Well, whomever can outmaneuver Aunt Linda and her annual bid for Thanksgiving domination. Then there’s the question of who brings what dish. God help you if you suggest store-bought pie to Grandma. She’ll remember that betrayal until the end of days, and suddenly you’ll find yourself at the kid’s table, even if you’re 45. And don’t get me started on seating arrangements. Do you put Cousin Tim next to Uncle Steve, knowing full well that their conversation about who has the better lawn could spark World War III?

Family politics is all about survival. Who can avoid being roped into helping clean up while still managing to come off as gracious and helpful? Who can navigate the minefield of discussing careers and life choices without having a nervous breakdown? If you think you’re not playing the game, trust me, you’re losing it.And every lesson here can be used at the office.

The Politics of Friendship: Keeping the Group Chat Alive

You may not think about it, but even your friendships are drenched in politics. Just organizing a simple hangout with friends can turn into a strategic dance of alliances, compromises, and betrayals. “Oh, you invited her but not me?” Congratulations, you’ve just sparked a small-scale diplomatic crisis.

Let’s talk about the group chat. That innocent little hub of memes and random links is a political hotbed where one wrong response can lead to weeks of passive-aggressive tension. Don’t respond to someone’s message fast enough? Clearly, you don’t value their friendship. Respond too quickly? You’re trying too hard. And if you dare leave a group chat, well, prepare for a full-blown investigation into why you’ve suddenly exiled yourself from the friend circle.

And let’s not forget the silent competition of who organizes the best gatherings. You thought you were just throwing a casual game night, but no, this is your chance to assert dominance as the “fun friend.” If you don’t provide top-tier snacks and a killer immersion game, you might as well prepare to be dethroned.

Romantic Politics and the Art of Not Texting First

Love is an arena where personal politics truly shines. In romantic relationships, everything is a strategic decision. Should you text first, or wait an arbitrary amount of time to seem steady? Who decides where to go for dinner? What’s the right balance of giving affection without looking needy?

Even in the most established relationships, you’ll find the ongoing negotiation of chores, date nights, and, most crucially, control of the TV remote. The stakes are real, people. The passive-aggressive struggle over who unloaded the dishwasher last is a microcosm of larger political games. Remember, relationships are about compromise, which is just a nice way of saying, "How can I get what I want without making it look like I’m winning?"

Learn that lesson quickly and apply it to your work environment.

Social Media and The Politics of Posting

Last but certainly not least, we come to social media, the modern Colosseum of personal politics. Every post, every “Like”, very “Repost” on TikTok, every Instagram story, is a calculated move. Who do you tag in a group photo? Do you like your coworker’s post even though you know they’re angling for the same promotion? Social media is the arena where we all perform, crafting a narrative of our lives that makes us look just political enough to be woke, but not so political that we actually risk alienating people.

Face it. In many instances, social media is all about crafting your brand and narrative, even if it’s not 100% factual. We’ve all done it. Just be cautious, because anything underhanded could get you slapped down later.

The politics of posting is all about managing perception, and that means subtly flexing your achievements while pretending you didn’t care enough to make them a big deal. It’s exhausting, but hey, you’ve got to stay relevant, right?

We’re All Politicians, Like It or Not

Whether it’s at work, in your family, or even in your love life, politics is everywhere. It’s not just something for government officials to squabble over. It’s a daily reality that we all navigate, whether we like it or not. Every decision you make, every conversation you have, is steeped in political maneuvering.

So go ahead and embrace your inner politician. Just remember: in this game, it’s all about making it look like you’re not playing.

And winning is a dish that is best served cold.